I’ve been in a funk! That’s the best way to explain it. This pandemic and stay home order has finally gotten to me too.
I have my immediate family with me in the house and I can afford to get food and necessary supplies. I am seeing patients part-time which keeps me in touch with colleagues and gets me out of the house a few times a week.
This new normal is stressful though.
Everyone is wearing a mask. I’m used to wearing a mask in the operating room, but wearing it all day in the office is not comfortable and I miss being able to see the facial expressions of my patients. You can tell a lot about a person by observing their expressions and I didn’t realize how much I not only listen to what my patients are saying but also to “how they are saying it.”
So, what got me in my funk?
I am a type A personality and I think I lost some motivation by staying at home. Sitting around, cleaning, cooking, laundry and staying in pajama pants all day. That’s not my normal, but I took it in stride. Instead of my usual exercise class I cleaned closets, the kitchen and anything else that had been ignored for a long time, and I was ok until….
My eldest son became ill with symptoms myself, nor my husband — who is also a physician, and others could not explain. Was he having strange COVID-19 symptoms? Was there some underlying disorder he had that we weren’t aware of?
We had him tested for everything, including COVID-19. His joints swelled up and one morning he couldn’t stand to get out of bed. That’s when I lost it. It is frustrating enough when your child is ill but during a pandemic the resources are scarce. I didn’t want to expose him to COVID-19 and most physician offices are closed. Quickly enough I and my physician friends put on our research hats! Our friend and pediatrician came up with the diagnosis: it isn’t terminal and there is a greater than 95% chance he will fully recover, but it’s still scary and the stress put me in a funk.
It’s been a week now and he is getting better, and I feel better too.
So, why do I tell this story? We are all dealing with our own stressors in addition to this pandemic. Any of us can fall victim to sadness, depression or loss of motivation. It is so easy to start eating poorly and saying to ourselves, ”I will start eating healthy again, when this is over.”
Don’t let your thoughts and fears dictate what you do.
I knew I needed to “get a grip on my thoughts”, so I meditated and did deep breathing exercises. One of my other sons started an online Taekwondo class and asked me to join him. It isn’t easy but I do feel better sweating and moving again.
My professional routine has been altered which is difficult. So instead I created a new routine by finishing projects, learning new hobbies and making healthy choices.
There is a bright side to everything: we are all in this together and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep yourself mentally and physically healthy and enjoy the little things.
I hope all of you and your families are COVID free or recovering.
Dr. Debbie