Unfortunately talking about miscarriage and other pregnancy loss is a “taboo” subject in a lot of our communities. When someone has lost a pregnancy or infant others are uncomfortable talking about it and therefore the subject gets, “wiped under the rug.”
Pregnancy and infant loss is real though and it affects so many families each year.
The grief is REAL no matter if you lost your pregnancy early on, your baby dies soon after birth or any time between. It is normal to go through stages of grief and eventual healing. Everyone goes through these stages differently and that is normal too.
The stages can be:
- Shock and numbness (a normal way to react to the news of a death)
- Guilt (“if only’s” are natural and need to be expressed)
- Anger (often we’re taught not to feel angry, but anger is a normal feeling and needs to be accepted and expressed – in a non-destructive way)
- Depression (at times, loneliness and lack of motivation may occur for you – don’t worry, at some point the motivation will return)
- Relief (it is a normal feeling, especially when the deceased suffered before death, or in a sudden death, where there was no suffering.
Support groups and therapists are available and helpful. I’ve listed some below.
Talk to your doctor, although upwards of 60% of pregnancy loss is unexplained, he or she will be able to walk you through the evaluation process and helping you to prepare for the future.
Resources
Babyloss-awareness.org
med.umich.edu/socialwork/oda/docs
beaumont.org/infantbereavemnt
Nationalshare.org
Compassionatefriends.org
babylosscomfort.com